Day I Swapped My Dad For Two Goldfish s/c back

"This book started like this," writes Neil. "My son, who is called Michael or Mike these days, but was Mikey back then, was angry at me. I'd said one of those things that parents say, like "isn't it time you were in bed," and he had looked up at me, furious, and said, "I wish I didn't have a dad! I wish I had..." and then he stopped and thought, trying to think of what one could have instead of a father. Finally he said, "I wish I had a goldfish!" And then he stomped off to bed."

A charming, all-ages book in which a mother comes home to find her son has swapped his Dad for two goldfish. She isn't best pleased. So she sends the young man and his pestering sister back to his mate Nathan's house to retrieve their father… only, Nathan's already gone and swapped him for a guitar. Indeed retrieving Dad turns into a succession of "just too lates" because no one wants to hang on to him.

"Well, he wasn't very exciting. All he did was read the paper."

This is the first children's book that should have a Parental Guidance sticker slapped on it. The guidance is this: Dads, don't just sit there and read the paper! You may shortly find yourself several living houses down the road.