Amazing Spider-Man: Epic Collection vol 6 - The Death Of Captain Stacy s/c back

Collects AMAZING SPIDER-MAN (1963) #86-104.

Never waste a good review, I say. Unfortunately I've not written any, so instead here's how I greeted the original, slimmer DEATH OF CAPTAIN STACY which takes place a couple of years before his daughter Gwen goes bungee jumping off the Brooklyn Bridge without adult supervision.

Every since Bendis filled the fight scenes over in ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN with as many quips as thwips, it's been easy to forget that Marvel's prime joker never used to be that funny. To look at the late 1960s panels here, he simply didn't have time: he was too busy explaining to readers what he was doing.

"My arms! I -- have to get them -- free! Have to be able to -- push the button! Everything -- depends on it! Can't let him hold me this way! I can't! I can't! I CAN'T!"

And that's just Peter smooching with Harry Osborne behind the bike sheds. Once he starts battling Doctor Octopus (a mop-topped minger referred to by all and sundry with misplaced joviality as “Doc Ock"), every single action is chronicled in minute detail as if the artist, John Romita Sr, hadn’t shown up for work:

"Oh no, you don't again catch me with your webbing again! I moved too fast for you!" gloats Doctor. Octopus, after moving too fast for Spider-Man to catch him once more with his webbing.

"That's what you think! All I wanted to do was to catch you off-guard! -- Just long enough for you to lose control of your metal arms! -- Giving ol' Spidey a chance -- to strike back!" counters Spider-Man as he catches Doctor Octopus off guard, just long enough for him to lose control of his metal arms and giving ol' Spidey a chance to -- strike back.

This goes on for several issues before Captain Stacy snuffs it, buried under five hundred tonnes of mindless exposition and a slightly wayward chimney.

He may even have thrown himself under the latter in order to escape the former, and I can't say I blame him. Nor does his daughter Gwen. poor Peter's girlfriend, who lays it all at Spider-Man's feet. Oh, the irony of it all!

Never mind, Peter, she'll be throwing herself off a bridge sometime soon, just to enjoy the silence.